How Do You Teach A Girlfriend To Say No To Other Men?
I have been dating this beautiful lady for the past three years. We both live in the same neighborhood. I stay with my parents and she stayed with her aunt before moving to live with a friend. We started as friends. We were young and in love but none of us had the courage to make the first move. Maybe we were shy but whenever we met, the love we had for each other was palpable. We stayed friends for a long time until one day, I found the courage to propose love to her. She was in the second year of senior high school when I proposed to her. I had completed senior high a year prior. When I said I loved her, she didn’t say no to me. She said yes because she had also loved me for a very long time. We had a beautiful relationship from the beginning. The vibe was there and our hearts were always on fire. Things were easy and rosy.
When she completed SHS, there was nothing for her to do. She was living with an aunt and it didn’t look like she would go to the university anytime soon so she started looking for a job. At that time, I was also hustling at Circle, putting one and one together to be able to make ends meet. I didn’t have much because I didn’t earn much but they say true love gives freely so I shared the little I had with her. Because she was always home and not doing anything, sometimes she came to where I was working and helped me out with the work that I was doing. Those were the days when our love was nothing but pure bliss.
When we started dating, she had an ex who didn’t know when to give up. He kept pestering her for a comeback and she always said no to him. I don’t know what happened but at some point, her ex got his way and slept with her. No, he didn’t force her. She gave in willingly. When I found out, I was so hurt I didn’t know how to deal with it. She said, “I’m really sorry and I swear it will never happen again.” What’s love without forgiveness? I forgave her and decided to forge ahead with her.
The following year it happened again. This time with another guy. At that time, she was working in a shop around her area and I believe that was when she met the guy. When I found out about them she said, “You don’t have time for me so what do you expect me to do? But you don’t have to take it seriously because I’m only flirting with them and nothing serious.” After saying all that she said, “But I’m sorry. Believe me, nothing of that sort is going to happen again, I swear.”
Not that I didn’t have time for her. She knows the kind of work I do and I thought she understood me. Whenever I was on my phone, it was about work and nothing else. I thought she knew that. But that day, she made me understood that she felt neglected anytime she was with me and I was on my phone. She said, “You put your phone first before me and that makes me feel you’re out of touch with me.” I had no option but to forgive her again and rather seek to change my ways so I don’t unconsciously push her into the arms of another man. Going forward, I gave her the time whenever she was around. I toned down the usage of my phone whenever she was around but guess what, she rather turned to her phone whenever she came around.
One day she went to a party with a friend who she currently resides with. After the party, someone offered them a ride and she exchanged contacts with the person. When we met the following day, she told me about the encounter with the man who gave them the ride. I thought everything ended when they got out of the man’s car but no. There’s more to it now than I expected. This man always wants to visit her at the shop, at home and even comes to drop her at my place when she comes to visit me.
One day she introduced me to the man as a boyfriend and told me she’s just friends with the man and nothing more. But looking through the feathers of a crow, it’s clear that there’s more to it than meets the eye. When I went through her phone, my girlfriend is the first to always greet the man in the morning and ask how his night was. In the afternoon she will send him a message and ask how his day is going and ask about his work and the rest. In the evening she will ask, “Are you home? Have you eaten?” And other unnecessary questions. The sad thing is, my girlfriend never wakes up one morning and thinks of greeting me.
If I don’t send her a message, she won’t mind me but she’ll turn around and tell me that I’m the one who doesn’t give her attention. Currently, the man goes to visit her every evening in the house. I asked her friend about it and she told me, “The man has told me he’s dating her but she herself hasn’t said anything to me.” This is just a stranger she met barely two months ago. That’s my surprise. I really love her and don’t want to lose her but she always goes out of the leash whenever she meets a new man.
My girl is very beautiful. A lot of men are after her. If I should leave her right now, she will get 100 guys in the next minute. Truth be told, she has turned down a lot of men and had told them I’m the one she’s dating. Remember, she introduced me to this new man as her boyfriend. That means this new man is aware that I’m the guy in her life so I don’t understand why she would go out of her way to accept his proposal.
Why is she doing this to me? Is it because I’m unemployed and hustling on the streets of Circle? Or because this new man has a car and is good-looking and gainfully employed, she thinks she will have a better future with him? Everything she does confuses me. I really love her and don’t want to lose her. What should I do to make her stop following that man and any other person that comes her way?