This Girl Would Be The Craziest Girl I’ve Ever Dated
She was always under my comment on Facebook so I decided to slide into her Dm and say hello to her. It took her a day and some hours before she responded to my message. When she did she said, “Good to have you here. I hope everything is ok?” We didn’t have much to say so we said goodbye to each other and left the chat. I saw her comments often in the group and commented under them. She will tell me, ”Let’s meet in chambers” so I will slide into her DM and continue the conversation there. We did that for over a month until one day, I sent her a message and she didn’t respond. The following day, I sent another message but she didn’t mind me. She read the messages but chose not to respond.
When she wrote something in the group and I commented, she skipped my comment and responded to others. I sent her a message, “Have I said or done anything to deserve this cold treatment from you? Please let me know and I will apologize.” That day she responded. She said I had done nothing wrong but her response was awkward. It didn’t reflect the happy-go-gay personality I had come to know. So I pushed her to tell me what the issue was and she said, “It looks like you don’t need me as a friend. I’m the one pushing myself on you. That’s not cool so I decided to give you some space.”
I was at a loss. I was the one who first said hello. I was the one who went into her inbox to enquire about her. I was the one pulling strings for us to have a conversation so what was she talking about? She told me, “We’ve been talking for over a month. If you indeed want friendship, you would have asked for my number. You haven’t. It tells the kind of a person you are and what you want from this. That’s why I kept my distance.”
I smiled in my head. I said, “For you to know that I want you as a friend, please give me your number.” She didn’t. I persuaded her. I begged for it. I gave her my number thinking she’ll reciprocate. She didn’t do it. She said I was asking for it because of what she said. “I’m not going to give it to you. You don’t need it. If you did, you would have asked for it without being told.”
I didn’t push again. I woke up every day and sent her a message on Messenger. In the afternoon I will send another message asking how her day was going and in the evening, I will send her a good night message. We lived our lives on Messenger. I got to know about her work and got to know where she lived though she wouldn’t give me the specifics. I told her a lot about me too and encouraged her to ask questions. We did that for over a month until one evening I asked again, “So what do you want me to do again before you give me your number?” She responded, “0245…I will give you the rest of the digits whenever you do something right. One good deed, one digit until you get all the digits.
So today she’ll give me 5. Tomorrow she’ll give me 3. We could go for days without a number because according to her I hadn’t done anything that deserved a number. On her birthday, I wrote a glowing message on my timeline with her photo. That day, she gave me the four remaining digits. When I called and she picked the phone she asked, “What do you want?” I said, “I want to hear your voice. I wanted to hear it immediately.” She told me, “If you didn’t call immediately, I would have collected my number back from you.” We burst out laughing.
The following day we met to celebrate her belated birthday. She said I looked shorter in person than in photos. I said she looked prettier in person than in photos. The vibe was good, the chemistry was alluring and because she looked like a woman I would love to date, I proposed to her. We had known each other digitally for more than three months. She said, “look at him. You didn’t even want my number. What do you need a relationship for?” I put my feelings into words telling her why, where, and how far we could go if she said yes to me. She asked, “So you want a yes from me right at this moment?” I answered yes.
She announced, “You’ll get a ‘Y’ today. The ‘e’ and the ’s’ will come later when you do something right. This time around, the stakes are high. You won’t get it easy so give me your best.”
She didn’t give me any clue because according to her love has no clues. I had to figure things out myself. I didn’t push it. I didn’t force myself to impress her. I decided to take it a day at a time. It took me one month to get her to add the ‘es’ to the initial ‘y’. I don’t even know what I did right but she said she had seen what she wanted to see so I deserved a full yes. I asked her, “So you’re my girlfriend now?” She answered, ”Yes we are in a relationship.”
She said she wouldn’t allow sex until we are married. She said I shouldn’t overdo things to impress her. She said I should treat her like a woman; ”That’s all I want from you. When you’re able to bring the woman in me to the fore, we’ll go far.” Whenever I visited her home I kept my distance so I don’t hit on her but that girl is the touchiest woman I’ve ever met. She’ll like to lie on me and cuddle. She would like to hold hands when we walk. She will like to sit on me when we are alone. I will be in the bathroom and she’ll just enter because she feels like watching a man bathing. There were days I had the urge to hit but I remembered her rules and stayed in my lane.
She came to visit me one evening. I was lying on the couch when she came to lie on me. She was doing things that suggested she wanted it. I played ignorant to see how far she’ll go with it. She was going far. I was watching her. She touched the head of the cobra and the cobra awoke from its slumber. I responded to what she was doing and we ended up doing what she said she wouldn’t do until we get married. When I thought we had finished, she came back at me again and we had another one. She asked me, “Now what?” I said, “We broke the law. We need to be punished for that. We both laughed. She said, “It was bound to happen. I’m sorry. I started it.” I played nice; “I enjoyed it more than you did. You can’t be guilty of my enjoyment.”
Later that night, I saw her off and came back to sleep. It was like a revival had happened in my body. I was happy for no reason. I laughed a lot and talked to myself all night. When she got home, she called to tell me she was home. The following morning I texted her, “Good morning my queen. I hope you had a beautiful night because I did.” She read the message and didn’t respond. Hours later, I saw her online and texted again, “Dear, are you Ok? Please talk to me.” She read the message and still didn’t respond. I called her phone and she picked. I asked her what the issue was and she answered, “Nothing. I’m Ok.” “Why are you not talking to me if you’re indeed ok?” She said, “Sometimes it happens. Don’t worry.”
For a whole week, she acted cold towards me. She won’t pick my calls and won’t respond to my text. I revised what happened the last night we were together. I was trying to find where I went wrong and what I said wrong. I couldn’t lay a finger on one thing I felt went wrong or was said wrongly. “Maybe she needs space,” I told myself.” I stopped texting and calling for one day. The following day she texted; “I don’t think I can continue seeing you after what happened the last night we met. I was very clear we couldn’t do it until we marry but you went ahead and broke the rule. That’s too cheap and ungentlemanly. I can’t date a man like that.”
I read the message over and over again trying to figure out what was missing in the message. Her words were clear and succinct. I called her, “What do you mean by that message you sent?” She answered, “It means exactly what I said. After this conversation, I won’t pick your calls again. Take it as a bad relationship that went from bad to worse. I can’t continue. It’s over.” Then she cut the call.
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“Or she has a mental problem? Or it’s one of those games she uses to test me?” I questioned myself. True to her words, she didn’t answer my calls and didn’t respond to my messages. I went to her house one day. She saw me coming and locked her door. I knocked and knocked until she texted me, “If you don’t leave, I will call my neighbors to descend on you. And if you dare step here again, I will make a police case against you. I’m not joking so don’t let us go that far. Respect yourself and accept that I don’t want a relationship with you.”
I thought it was a dream I will wake up from one day but days went by, the skies changed colors and the weather went colder. I still didn’t wake up. It wasn’t a dream after all. She blocked me on Facebook and blocked me on Whatsapp. I haven’t tried calling her but I guess she had blocked my phone number too. It was early October when this happened. I’ve been waiting for her to appear from the blues and say, “ Hurray!!! I was just pulling your legs. I only want to see what you would do if I leave you…” I know that doesn’t make sense but it would make a lot of sense than what is currently happening.
What did I do wrong? Or It’s just another case of hit and run?
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